Crocheter's Anonymous 12-step Program

I wish I'd been the only person to have gone through this but I know I've talked to other crocheters who definitely relate. Thankfully, not all of you.

For those who are on the other side and would like to work through this, here are the...

Twelve Steps for Crocheters Anonymous

-- or how to grow into being comfortable crocheting in public

  1. Admit that you are powerless over crochet, that your life has become unmanageable until you figure out how to do your hobby with pride and in public when you wish.
  2. Believe that in the power of Baubo, you can restore your crochet tendencies to sanity.
  3. Make a decision to grow your tendencies to crochet into a happy healthy habit.
  4. Make a searching and fearless inventory of all the items, garments, doilies, or otherwise that you fervently dream of making someday and post it where you can see it and be inspired.
  5. Tell one friend that you are a crocheter. Imagine Baubo standing by your side in support, behaving herself for the moment.
  6. Find a café far enough away from your home that you can be very sure you won't be recognized. Crochet a row or two. If anyone talks to you, politely brush them off. Days or weeks later, find the same or different café far enough away that you won't be recognized. Crochet until two people talk to you about your crochet. You need not fess up about what you're really making although do admit to crocheting.
  7. Tell another friend that you are a crocheter.
  8. Make a list of all the persons you wish you had crocheted a gift for. Post this list next to the inventory list for inspiration.
  9. Make gifts for these people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others (heavily starched items for children are not recommended).
  10. Find a café close to home, one that you have a chance of being recognized. Crochet until two people ask you about your crochet. No need to fess up about what you're making. A few weeks later, go back and crochet until someone who knows you talks to you about your crochet. This time, tell them honestly about what you're making. You can break this last step into two if you like.
  11. Seek through ESP with Baubo to improve your crochet skills and ask her, the universe, and everything what you might crochet next.
  12. Having become fully comfortable in your habit, carry this message to other crocheters who ask for it. Continue practicing these principles in all of your affairs. (But don't crochet while on jury duty or changing a baby diaper.)

Took me two years to get crochet-sober but now I am able to admit to others that I enjoy this artform.


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