Well, actually, my friend K had balls. Then he gave them to me and asked me if I'd crochet a scrotum for them.

Sure, K-nut, no problem. I'll crochet you a scrotum. I do this all the time for my friends.

He proceeded to show me his balls. Two bowling balls, each with a hefty gauge of chain epoxied to them.

Well, epoxied Into them - and around a long bolt going across the inside of each one.

I wondered if this was some sort of theater prop, practical joke, or his solution to some over-the-top personal angst that I hadn't picked up on yet.

He even provided material with which to fashion desired scrotum.

Could pass for various skin tones too. Right up my alley. I was in.

I grabbed my largest hook and started in on my friend's textile wish. The hook was the right diameter but didn't have the right shape to accommodate the thick rope.

After attempts to make it work, I mentioned my crochet plight to another friend, G-nuts (who just corrected me that he's plural), who has fashioned completely useful although not pretty objects out of shapelock (or more generically, polycaprolactone) - a plastic that is easily reformable at hot water temperatures. He built another hook on the bottom end of my original hook. In only a few minutes, he made me a hook that fit the material well. But this cord had a mind of its own. Even if I unraveled it, it really did not want to be made into crochet stitches.

So I moved to thinner nylon cord. This would increase the time required by 10. Also made it look like I was crocheting yarmulkes.

Almost done. One came out bumpier than the other so I presumed that one would hang lower. I left the back open so he could slip it on and off as needed since I wasn't quite sure how he was going to use this.

But it turns out, he didn't want to take it off. He wanted it permanently wrapping the balls. So I filled in the gap when I delivered it. At a ... um ... public coffee house.

Snip.

Back.

Front.

A little side trip with Jack.

Jack up close.

My back hurts.

Hatching eggs.

Relief scratch

Demure ownership

Next installment - balls installed!